In the garage, with a shotgun, a rubber chicken, my cat, a RealDoll named Tsuki, a 6oz swordfish steak, a Captain Caveman decoder ring, a picture of the 1973 Dodgers, Zoomie's foot fetish, the occasional stripper to beat me up, 5 nicotine patches, a vial of Family Guy Anti Bacterial Soap, the occasional call from Suze, the occasional smoo, Avast AntiVirus, Mosh's Magical Marsupials, a bottle of Crisco, Spybot - Search & Destroy, the dude who pooped in the tuba, a PitBull named "Diesel", a limited edition 'Tickle Me Elmo', a Darth Vader mask, Terry Fader's turtle puppet, a bag of Ol'Roy dog food, a $5 gift certificate to "Biz-E-G's 'Lapdances and Laundry'", Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, the fabled "TSi CockRing Set", the new TSi "Paddle Me Palin" doll, a 250cc syringe full of empscum, a "Hello Kitty" tongue piercing kit, a pirated copy of WinRAR, a roasted turkey leg, my "Police Squad" box set, and K_o_C's non-used tube of Anal Eaze, I feel safe ...
so my girlfriends sister and her boyfriend have been staying with us for the past couple of weeks. they just got together, and are finding out about all the wonderful things couples can do together.
i have a ratty old couch that i put sheets on so they can do whatever they want to on that couch.
they also like to run around and fuck in weird places; baseball dugouts, playgrounds, that kind of thing.
whatever. just dont go fucking anywhere im gonna be. like my fucking bathroom. MY BATHROOM. i give them a place to stay, rent fucking free, until they find their own place. my living room is a complete mess, my shower is all dirty when theyre done showering, open cups lying everywhere. i just got new carpet put down, and i have a fucking fruit punch stain in it already because they cant pick up after themselves.
thats what i get for being nice. i told them not to fuck in the shower, and im pretty sure theyre doing it there.
is the couch not good enough? im alreay compromising by not walking into the living room...pretty much all the time if i can help it. i havent asked them for a god damned thing except to clean the living room. and its still dirty. if they put a quarter of the effort they spend finding places to fuck into finding a place to live then they would be okay.
but they arent. and even i i pisses my girlfriend off they have a fucking week to get their shit out. im the leasholder, im the one that pays rent on an apartment thats right above the managers, and m tired of the mess, the fucking stomping around, all this fucking bullshit.
i cleaned up the bathroom; it was a mess when they got out last time. im anal about my bathroom, let me tell you. its spotless now; ariel did the kitchen, and we left them the living room.
i sat him down and told him all the apartments i know about, since my father works for a real-estate-millionair i knew a few numbers and whatnot. ariels sister later told her that mark didnt like that 'i was treating him like a kid'. fuck...sorry for helping out.
Tell him to act like an adult and get his own place or to go back to his parents. YOU didn't take him on to raise and the same goes for your girl's sister. She's just as guilty for leeching.
Joined: Fri Jan 12 2007, 04:38am
Location: Florida
Posts: 687
HA! Here is some Jerry Springer shit for ya:
My wife's step daughters' baby's daddy has been sleeping on my couch rent free for the past fuckin month AND takin care of said baby here in my house 4 days out of the week and the mutha fucker hasn't once offered a damn Penny. Of course my wife and I have faught about it around every 72 hours (ussually when my meds wear off and or I am sober) - BUT DAMN IT I HATE IT!
Speakin of which - any single ladies with no kids that are willing to take in an intelligent, ambitious, attractive, and currently financially deprived man - let me know