In the garage, with a shotgun, a rubber chicken, my cat, a RealDoll named Tsuki, a 6oz swordfish steak, a Captain Caveman decoder ring, a picture of the 1973 Dodgers, Zoomie's foot fetish, the occasional stripper to beat me up, 5 nicotine patches, a vial of Family Guy Anti Bacterial Soap, the occasional call from Suze, the occasional smoo, Avast AntiVirus, Mosh's Magical Marsupials, a bottle of Crisco, Spybot - Search & Destroy, the dude who pooped in the tuba, a PitBull named "Diesel", a limited edition 'Tickle Me Elmo', a Darth Vader mask, Terry Fader's turtle puppet, a bag of Ol'Roy dog food, a $5 gift certificate to "Biz-E-G's 'Lapdances and Laundry'", Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, the fabled "TSi CockRing Set", the new TSi "Paddle Me Palin" doll, a 250cc syringe full of empscum, a "Hello Kitty" tongue piercing kit, a pirated copy of WinRAR, a roasted turkey leg, my "Police Squad" box set, and K_o_C's non-used tube of Anal Eaze, I feel safe ...
I do fuck on the occasion when I can get the time and my boyfriend and I are both in the same mood.
Things are going alright in my life. I got a different job at work and it's working out better than what i was doing before. I've been in the same relationship for almost a year now and things are still going good there. I have an awesome best friend and roommate I've ever had. My car is shit, but I'm saving up for a new one, so hopefully soon, I can get another car.
And as far as getting anything, I don't have anything that I know of. But I'll get back to you on that.
SO! How's things your way? Whatcha got? And "The Fuck".
I got busted by an undercover minor with a beard .....for selling em booze, w/o carding. have to go to court have to pay fines do community service got fired
I'm going to san francisco to me 35 seedfreaks after that. august 9-14th
cause they bought me a ticket to meet me.
LOL! I think of you everyday. .....your motor head tshirt is on my wall.
Edited Sun Jul 15 2007, 02:36pm
Joined: Thu Apr 28 2005, 12:18am
Location: Long Island
Posts: 327
I'm unemployed for a month after being on disability for 7 weeks. The intensive nursing program I signed up for should be starting soon so that should be good. I managed to keep a 4.0 while I was working so there's no reason why I won't get into it.
I'm in the middle of moving back into my parents' house (bad move I know, but it'll save me money while I'm in school and then I can buy something). I'm actually sitting on an aerobed with my computer on the floor and a couple lamps. It's very ghetto chic. I move out officially next Friday.
I don't want to live with my parents. I'm dragging my feet as much as possible.
i care enough to try and help you. and I'll keep trying until you understand...
Accountability
To the degree the events of the world happen to us, we are powerless pawns in a game of chance. The most we can do is hope, have lots of insurance, and buy emergency food supplies.
To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us, we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happens to us.
In a word, we become accountable.
When something happens to you, you can explore it and probably see that you had something to do with its taking place. You either created it, promoted it, or--at the very least--allowed it.
When looking for areas of accountability,
Pick any simple "it happened to me" event--
Helpful hints:
1. Go back in time. We love to begin our "victim stories" at the point "it" starts happening to us--when the shit hits the fan, and the fan is running.
If you start at an earlier point, however, you see that you, were warned, several times. ....in PMs I wrote you. I also wrote clean, thrash, and asp...they understood....
not to mention, your own internet savey, detachment... "I could be wearing a pink tutu" .....remember?
2. What ARE YOU pretending not to know? What intuitive flashes did you ignore? "
We all pretend to know less than we really know.
Into all this comes a perfectly good word that has been given a bad rap--
responsibility.
Responsibility simply means the ability to respond. Most people, however, use it to mean blame: "Who's responsible for this!"
In any situation, we have the ability to respond, and our response will make the situation either better or worse.
Whichever way it goes, we have the ability to respond again. And again. And again. By exercising our ability to respond, and watching the results closely,
we can, if we choose, lift almost any situation.
One ability to respond we always have is how we react inside....... to what's going on outside.
The world can be falling apart around us; that doesn't mean we have to fall apart ourselves.
True accountability has three parts. First, acknowledge that you have something to do with what's happened. Even if you're not sure what that might be, ask yourself, "How might I have created, promoted, or allowed this?" The answer may surprise you.
Second, explore your response options. In other words, become response-able.
Third, take a corrective action. The more accountability you found at the first step, the more corrective action you may want to take.
On the other hand, your corrective action might be getting out of the way and letting those who are more accountable than you take care of things
--if you spilt the glass of milk, clean up the milk;
if a milk truck spills milk all over the highway,
.........get off the highway.
And remember: you create, promote, or allow all the good things that happen to you, too.
When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound.
Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass and, when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware.
This is a lifetime of good-byes. In our time, we will say good-bye to cherished people, things, and ideas. Eventually, we say good-bye to life itself with our death.
Learn to say a good good-bye. Allow yourself to mourn each loss. As with a physical wound, the body has its own schedule for healing. It will tell you when it has healed.
Understanding the process of recovering from an emotional wound is valuable--not necessarily as a technique for accelerating the healing process--
but more as an assurance that, no matter what stage of recovery you are in, all is well.
There are three distinct, yet overlapping, phases of recovery.
We go through each phase no matter what the loss. The only difference is duration and intensity of feeling.
In a minor loss, we can experience all three stages in a few minutes. In a major loss, the recovery process can take years.
The first stage is shock/denial/numbness. Our body and emotions numb themselves to the pain. The mind denies the loss. Often, the first words we utter after hearing of a loss are "Oh, no," or "This can't be."
The second stage is fear/anger/depression. We are angry at whatever or whoever caused the loss (including the person who left).
We often turn the anger against ourselves and feel guilt over something we did or did not do.
(This assignment of blame, either outer or inner, is not always rational.)
The depression stage of recovery is the sadness often associated with loss: the tears, the hurt, the desolation. We fear the pain will never end; that we will never love or be loved again.
The third stage is
understanding/acceptance/moving on. We realize that life goes on, that loss is a part of life, and that our life can and will be complete without the presence of what was lost.
We also realize, by going through the first two stages of recovery, we have learned a great deal about ourselves, and we are a better person for the experience.
If we don't allow ourselves the time to heal, some of our ability to experience life is frozen--locked away--and is unavailable for the "up" experiences we enjoy:
happiness, contentment, love. The part of us that feels the anger and depression is the same part that feels peace and love. If you refuse to feel the anger and the pain of a loss, you will not be able to feel anything else until that area heals.
In other words, stay out of your own way. Let yourself feel bad if you want to feel bad. Feel joy, too.
Healing is taking place.
finally..
Learn to Let Go
How does one avoid loss in the first place?
Contrary to popular belief, it's not attachment that causes loss--attachment feels fine. It's detachment that hurts
Learn to let go.
Some suggest that to avoid loss, one should never be attached to anything.
They give the example of a hand in water: when the hand is removed from the water, the hand leaves no impression. These people say the reason the hand leaves no trace in the water is because the water is not attached to the hand.
On the contrary, while the hand is in the water, it is very attached to the hand--surrounding, enfolding, and embracing it. Allow yourself to experience life as fully as water experiences the hand; then, as completely, let go.
Yes, the water leaves a little of itself on the departing hand, as we leave a little of ourselves with the people and things we touch. For the most part, however, when it comes time to go, let go.
The hand can no more hold the water than the water can hold the hand. As soon as one "wants" to leave, there is no attachment. Hand and water both accept the inevitability, and part "clean."
