In the garage, with a shotgun, a rubber chicken, my cat, a RealDoll named Tsuki, a 6oz swordfish steak, a Captain Caveman decoder ring, a picture of the 1973 Dodgers, Zoomie's foot fetish, the occasional stripper to beat me up, 5 nicotine patches, a vial of Family Guy Anti Bacterial Soap, the occasional call from Suze, the occasional smoo, Avast AntiVirus, Mosh's Magical Marsupials, a bottle of Crisco, Spybot - Search & Destroy, the dude who pooped in the tuba, a PitBull named "Diesel", a limited edition 'Tickle Me Elmo', a Darth Vader mask, Terry Fader's turtle puppet, a bag of Ol'Roy dog food, a $5 gift certificate to "Biz-E-G's 'Lapdances and Laundry'", Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, the fabled "TSi CockRing Set", the new TSi "Paddle Me Palin" doll, a 250cc syringe full of empscum, a "Hello Kitty" tongue piercing kit, a pirated copy of WinRAR, a roasted turkey leg, my "Police Squad" box set, and K_o_C's non-used tube of Anal Eaze, I feel safe ...
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14AM
: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Ok, so I posted this ad on CL for the fuck of it ...
wrote ... Produce Section - Winn-Dixie - RT17 - Mid-Afternoon - Sunday - m4w - 29 (Jacksonville, Fl)
You, hot girl, mid to upper 20s, dark top and casual jeans, and perhaps pink socks. I could clearly see you're truly a lipstick kinda girl.
Me, tall, thinner, upper 20s, with very short hair, wearing RayBans, and member of the Moose Club.
You were squeezing tomatoes, I'm thinking checking for freshness, and believe me, those tomatoes were quite fresh. What really stood out were your melons. I watch you squeeze-test them as well for a few moments, and, once again, they were surely quite ripe!
Our eyes met, and we smiled at each other, while you happened to be holding a cucumber in each hand. I damn-near dropped my kumquats!
Since you seem to fully enjoy fresh produce, I wanted to know if you would like to get together for some strawberry shortcakes, or a nice tossed salad, perhaps on a glass-bottomed boat. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against a hot or cold lunch in any way; perhaps chili dogs and juice boxes in the ballpark, or a New York Style Taco. Maybe we can check out the zoo, I hear they have a new Angry Penguin exhibit! Or, if you're more toward to the low key, we can just stay in and play Quake 3, Mario Kart, or even Wheel Of Fortune.
Well, until we meet again, rock on like an 80's metal drummer!