Hey, well, the thread is self explanatory. Just post your favorite movie quotes here.
Mine:
"Have you ever stepped onto the road, and you turn, and a car's almost on you? Something very strange happens. You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over." - Turkish, "Snatch"
Joined: Thu Dec 08 2005, 08:27pm
Location: Witness Protection Program
Posts: 390
"We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes!"
Edited Wed Apr 04 2007, 07:07pm
Douglas "Swish" Reemer: We win, and they get the chicks. That sucks, dude. Joseph R. Cooper: I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks.
Douglas "Swish" Reemer: Oh, I'll come, I love hospitals. Joseph R. Cooper: No you don't! You like Taco Bell. Douglas "Swish" Reemer: Naw dude, one time I was in France and I met this really sweet chick at one. Joseph R. Cooper: That was a hostel! Douglas "Swish" Reemer: Oh yeah...
Robert Stack: The police have pieced together numerous theories on Coop's whereabouts. Douglas "Swish" Reemer: I have no fucking clue where the hell he is. For all I care he could be hanging by his neck in his fucking closet! Robert Stack: Scenario One: He's hanging by his neck in his fucking closet. Jenna Reed: You want to know where Coop is? Just look for where the most heinous, vile, horrible exploitation of children takes place. Robert Stack: Scenario Two: Coop is at Disney Land.
Joseph R. Cooper: [with Australian accent] How to speak San Franciscan ? [He pulls Squeak's shorts down, revealing his bottom] Joseph R. Cooper: Vagina !
Roland T. Flakfizer: And that spells cash with a capital... Jacques: K! Roland T. Flakfizer: You should go back to school. Jacques: I hated teaching.
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Roland T. Flakfizer: Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Carribbean cruise, where we can hold hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.
********** Rocco: [as a dog rips his trouser leg] What a charming little animal. Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek? Rocco: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!
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Flakfizer: Lillian, I could make love to you right here. Lillian Oglethorpe: Roland, let's keep this professional. Flakfizer: Fine. I'll charge you fifty bucks a pop.
*********** I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.
********** Melissa: "Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson." Ace: "Pleasure to meet you." Melissa: "Did you have any trouble getting in?" Ace: "No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle."
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Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace?! I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?!
********** Cecile Caldwell: This doesn't taste like a regular iced tea. Sebastian: It's from Long Island.
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Jesse Montgomery III: Have you seen my car? Christie Boner: Yeah. Jesse Montgomery III: You have? Christie Boner: Well, I saw the backseat. Jesse Montgomery III: No, I'm talking about the whole thing.
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Posts: 14373
Memorable quotes for Airplane! (1980)
First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know? Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man. First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say? Second Jive Dude: UH... First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'. Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man. First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em. First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar. Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back? Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
Steve McCroskey: This fog is getting thicker. Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it? Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn't return from that raid. Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.
Ted Striker: It's Lieutenant Hurwitz. Severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman. Lieutenant Hurwitz: [singing] You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses... Ted Striker: War is hell.
Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts? Elaine Dickinson: No.
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off. Captain Oveur: Roger! Roger Murdock: Huh? Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er. Captain Oveur: Roger! Roger Murdock: Huh? Victor Basta: Request vector, over. Captain Oveur: What? Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324. Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence. Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor? Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over! Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over. Tower voice: Over. Captain Oveur: Roger. Roger Murdock: Huh? Tower voice: Roger, over! Roger Murdock: What? Captain Oveur: Huh? Victor Basta: Who?
Randy: Can I get you something? Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me! Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand. First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG! Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive. Randy: Oh, good. Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him. Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine? Jive Lady: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side. Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap! Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help! First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up! Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!
Borat: I want to have a car that attract a woman with shave down below. Car Dealership owner: Well that would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer. [starts showing Borat cars] Car Dealership owner: We'll try to help you out here. Borat: A man yesterday, tell me if I buy a car I must buy one with a pussy magnet. Car Dealership owner: He means a car that women like. Borat: Yes, but where do you keep this magnet? Car Dealership owner: [interrupts] No. There's no magnet he just means the vehicle. Women love the Hummers. Borat: Do this have a pussy magnet? Car Dealership owner: No. The vehicle itself would be a magnet. Borat: If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet? Car Dealership owner: Yeah but there's no-there's no such thing in this country as a-as a magnet. Borat: If this car drive into a group of gypsies, will there be any damage to the car? Car Dealership owner: It depends on how hard you hit them and all that. Borat: *Hard* Car Dealership owner: You might-if somebody rolls on the windshield, they could crack your windshield. Borat: How fast do I need to go to guarantee I kill them? Car Dealership owner: Uh-let me tell you something with this vehicle here probably doing 35-45 miles per hour will do it. Borat: Great! When I uh, buy my wife, at the start she was uh, cook good, her vazhïn work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years when she was fifteen, then she become weak, her voice become deep: BORAT BORAT, eh, she receive hair on chest, and vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard. Car Dealership owner: Huh-Jesus... Borat: How do I know that this will not happen with the car? Car Dealership owner: Chevrolette guarantees you that with a warranty. Borat: I like-a very much buy this Hummers, how much is it? Car Dealership owner: Fifty-two thousand. Borat: I am looking for something between um, six-hundred to uh... six-hundred and fifty dollars. Car Dealership owner: We don't have any cars for six-fifty that you can buy. I might be able to sell you a wholesale car, a car with a lot of miles for seven-hundred with no warranty.
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Borat: Who is this car that follow us? I wish it didn't follow us anymore. Driving Instructor: Oh, I don't know. Borat: Maybe we lose them. Driving Instructor: No, we better not lose them. Borat: [yelling at the passing car] Hey, don't look at me. Eat my tits! Driving Instructor: All right. We'll make a right turn up here. Borat: Don't look at me like that! I will eat your shit. Driving Instructor: Hey, don't do that. Borat: You fuck my mother. Driving Instructor: Hey, hey. You can't do that. Borat: No, he do before. He look on me. Driving Instructor: You can't do that, okay? They're gonna throw us in jail, me with you. You can't... Borat: Why in jail? He look on me- la-la-la behind. Driving Instructor: You can't say that.
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End Credits Men's Choir: Kazakhstan greatest country in the world, All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium, all other countries have inferior potassium. Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool, it’s length thirty meter and width six meter. Filtration system a marvel to behold. It remove 83 percent of human solid waste. Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place, From Plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown. Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan, They very nosey people with bone in their brain. Kazakhstan industry best in the world, we invented toffee and trouser belt. Kazakhstan's prostitutes cleanest in the region, except of course Turkmenistan's. Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place, From Plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown. Come grasp the might penis of our leader from junction with the testes to tip of its face!
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Borat: [Referring to Pamela Anderson's character in "Baywatch"] This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I have ever seen. She had golden hair, teeth as white as pearls, and the asshole of a seven-year-old. For the first time in my lifes, I was in love.
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Borat: What's up with it, Vanilla face? Me and my homie Azamat just parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our Black asses for the night. So, uh, bang bang, skeet skeet, nigga. Just a couple of pimps, no hos.
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Borat: This is Urkin, the town rapist. Naughty, naughty! Borat: [subtitled, to the town's rapist upon farewell] Urkin, not too much raping... Humans only!
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Borat: [indicates women beside him] In my country, they would go crazy for these two. [points to minister's wife] Borat: This one... not so much...
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Borat: This is Natalya. [He kisses her passionately] Borat: She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. [She holds up a trophy and smiles] Borat: Niiice!
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Borat: My moustache still tastes of your testes!
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Borat: This my mother. She is oldest woman in ALL of Kuzek! She is 43! I love her! Uhh... this my wife Oxanna... She is a moron... Oxanna: What? What? What did say about me, you skinny piece of shit? Why don't you go do something useful and dig your mother a grave, you tall piece of shit!
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Borat: The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and making romance explosion on her stomach.
