I got a phone call at 6.30am 2 weeks ago off my mum telling me her mums dieing in hospital and that it may be the last time I will see her. So I got on a train and went home. Keeping in mind I haven't seen her or any of my Italian family for 12 years, due to a huge misunderstanding (that we know now)
I get to the hospital and meet my grandad, who started crying when he first saw me, which yeah, started me off. He just stood there looking at me. I felt so so so strange seeing this man that once was so young and now... looks so old and Ill. :'( After I calmed down I went to the room (where all my aunties and uncles where they all grabbed me and hugged me) that my nan was in and there she was...Tiny, Tiny Eyes..Tiny nose... Just TINY. She didn't have her eyes open. Just lieing down in a really deep sleep. She was having trouble breathing. Her belly was so big and I asked what was wrong with her, Theres a tube that runs dowm the body that carrys blood or something and there was holes in it which ment it was bleading into her lungs or something. (I couldn't really understand or take in what they where all telling me)Which was cousing her to swel with fluid in her belly. He heart was twice the sice it should be, She had something wrong with her liver, there was so much stuff wrong with her It was horrific.
After about 5 hours sitting by her side she still hadn't opened her eyes. Yet apparently she was sitting up and trying to go outside the day before. Everyone was worring I could tell. Then my mums aunti Rosa held my nans head and said (In italian) ''Looks whos her silvia, look who it is'' and she still didnt open her eyes. She continued ''Look silvia... Hayleys here'' My nana jumped and her eyes opened and look straight at me and she gasped. Then slowly closed her eyes again. Her eyes where so bright and big, my mum had just finished telling me that her eyes had gone grey yet when she saw me her eyes she beautiful. I'm the eldest grandaughter and all my grandad kept saying was, ''she missed you, she didn't ever forget you, we where both always wondering what you where up to and she NEVER forgot your birthda''. For the past 12 years they had put money into an account for my birthday! Which...yep... made me cry again. Its not about the money it the fact that she never forgot me. Which for all these years I thought they all had. :'(
After 8 hours of sitting next to her holding her hand she still hadnt woke up.Me mum and Jay (My bro) Decided to go home. That night at 11.36pm, She died.
My grandad was there, and told me that she died within two deep breaths and then stopped breathing. Her heart had failed. We rushed to the hospital that night and went in the room that she was in, and she looked so peaceful, no pain, nothing. a couple of times I thought I saw her breathing. That was scary but she wasn't. Its like she waited to see me. I only wish someone had told us sooner as all of the rest of my family know that shes been dieing for the past 5 years. (At that point they gave her 2 years to live, Yet she lasted 5!)
A few days after that, We had helped my grandad pick flowers, the coffin and everything. Which was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. My family is Italian, so beeing italian I had to attened prayers at my nans open coffin. I had to go there twice. That I hope I NEVER have to do again in the rest of my life and I probably will never go to an open coffin if someone asked me too. She didn't look like her. she looked in pain... she looked bloated. It wasn't her. I couldn't control my crying, it was horrific.
On the funeral day we where in huge black cars with the coffin infront and I have never felt so sick in my life. The coffin was beautiful, gold handles and a carving or christ on it. Anyway, My nan did the ultimate ''NO NO'' in the Italian community and asked to be cremated and she was.
My grandad is going to scatter the ashes at a clock they first met at 57 years ago in skegness. My nan at the time had just been brought over from italy and was working at a place that selled ice cream, and my grandad too was brought over from italy and worked at the brick yards. He went in for an Ice cream one day and the first words my nan said to my grandad was ''cor' your big'' and he said ''yep'' and used to meet up for dates at the clock......how cute. We are all going there in september to skatter her ashes.
The day I got back home, I handed in my notice at work. I no longer work for them retarded wankers, and feel so much better.The wouldnt pay me for the 2 weeks I had off, because as my manager put it ''IT WAS JUST MY GRANDMA'' so I told her to swivel on a sharp knife, and put a complaint about her in to head office, the letter was 2 pages long and told them about some of the fraud she had been doing there, that I had seen, I hope she loses her job. Plus, My contract says that if ''a loved one including, parent, partner, grandparent was to pass away then you can take up to 2 weeks paid compassionate leave'' So I also told head office about that too! Well funny!!!
I now have a interview for a college on the 9th of september to study an National Diploma in Multimedia. Wish me luck.
My grandad is very very ill too, and If I lost him now, It would kill me. Hes just the same as he used to be, Tickling me and putting me in head locks! Hes so funny. I now spend ever weekend with him, getting to know him all over again. Shame I missed that with my granny, but I hope shes looking down watching us proudly.
One of the reasons I decided to change my life for the better was something that my grandad said to me that first night I saw him..
''One day hayley, you will go to sleep and wake up, look in the mirror and you will be old, just like me. Do what you want to do now, before its too late.''
Joined: Wed Jan 12 2005, 12:39pm
Location: Plague of Madness
Posts: 1100
That made me cry as well, really touching, sorry for your loss Hayley and welcome back, we missed you. Glad you quit that job, life is too short to put up with stuff like that and good luck on your interview.
Well, I teared up, but I didn't cry...still though, I'm sorry. I really wish you had been able to see her before she died. (It makes me think of my relatives in Italy.) And she was cremated? My grandmother told me about how her sister decided to be cremated when she died. They's Italian too...the funeral was almost the same as you described. *hugs* Open coffins creep me out too.
I know how you feel, as most of us do, and it's pretty terrible. We'd been planning a trip to see our greatgrandmother before she died, but she wound up dying the day before we left. I'm glad you got to see your grandmother alive, closure is a blessing.
You guys (like Dan said, MOST of you.) are just the best! *group hug*
I didn't want to make anyone cry, I kind of feel bad that I did that and sorry! Sometimes I just have to talk about it all. Like last night I suddenly felt so sad and ended up crying again. I feel like a fool and end up telling james that Im sorry that Im crying and that. Hes been a star though all of this. I knew that someone would soon enough die in my family, Hell I mean we all do but I just didn't know how much it would hurt. Theres being upset, and then theres feeling like your heart has been ripped out and your you feel like you dont have it there anymore. I get in a panic sometimes and end up finding it hard to breath about losing my mum. Im so scared of losing people around me now and some days I spend hours thinking about death? It freaks me out.
wrote ... I'm glad you got to see your grandmother alive
The one thing I regret was not going to see her when she was up and talking I could have told her everything about what I've done, make her feel proud. she never met james. Im so gutted about that, like I say the day before she was trying to go outside. The day I got there she was so deep in a sleep. I never thought it was going to happen to me. Its the first person to die in my familey.
wrote ... And she was cremated? My grandmother told me about how her sister decided to be cremated when she died
Yeah, I'm not sure if its wrong to do because you are Italian but the Italian community in peterborough (where I used to live, and where they live) They all ended up arguing at the fact that my grandma didn't want a church service. She just wanted it in the crem place but because my mums uncle went mad about that, my grandad was made to go to church.
wrote ... I know what you mean with how you would feel if you lost him.
Well, its like It would hurt even if he had died without meeting him, but we are just getting to know each other, Hes amazing. Some of the stuff he has done in his life is so cool that my mum is going to write a book about it all and try and get it published. He truly is a strong and amazing man.
wrote ... Enjoy your new freedom from the sweatshophellholeClintons
Tell me about it. That place is full of knobs. *hugs you* Thank you for being there for me Ian.
wrote ... and at the same time my family and I send your family our condolences.
Thanks Jenn. *hugs you too*
wrote ... such a sad story, but a good moral at the end of it for everyone...
I would like to add that with all the stuff that has been said on here between Mike, Aaron, arc, suz and me. I want it droped. forgot about it all. Like arc said lifes to short and now, I just want to come here just to chill and talk to people. Im sick of people jumping on me, If I say something that hurts you. Come tell me, I WILL say sorry to you. I know that suz will read this, and I want to say I never ment to be mean to you. Some things I say should be taken with a pinch of salt. Well anyway Im saying sorry for all that I have ever said to anyone that have taken anything I have said in a bad way and that even if you try to pick a fight, I don't and cant be bothered with it, or the person that trys to do it.
It wont stop me flaming mike's ass in the flame forum FOR FUN.. Gay boy. (giggles)
Anyway. So I wrote this HUGE letter to my old head office right, Listing some of the bullshit I have had to put up with for the past 2 years.
I got a letter back today, they had pasted it onto human Resouces who where very concerned about the contents of my letter and have passed it onto my old area manager....and that If I would like to pursue the matter I can...
Dude, I am... and *Sings* "I got her in the shit! I got her in the SHIT!"
I was a nice newbie... well, I hit on you the first chance I got, coz youre hawt! I'm glad you followed up with your complaints, I really think you should have done it months ago, but its a lot harder to do while youre still in the job. You're doing the right thing. Make 'em pay!
I'm so sorry for your loss, Hayley. I'm glad you got to see her though. I am also glad you got rid of the crummy job. And your boss sounded like an ass. I hope they give her what she deserves. I'm glad you are back. *LOL* I'm more a lurker here than a poster anymore.
Hey Hayley. I'm sorry you lost your grandma. I lost all three (my dad's dad died way before I was born) of my grandparents in a span of 7 years. I know how rough that can be. On a brighter note, it's great that you're able to cherish the time you have with you Grandpa now. Take full advantage of this almost second-chance-like opportunity with him.
I'm glad you followed up with your complaints, I really think you should have done it months ago, but its a lot harder to do while youre still in the job. You're doing the right thing. Make 'em pay!
