just a quick note.. I just wanted all to know that i made this topic a 'sticky' because I think that this is one of the BEST threads we've had on here in the 20+ years doin this shit....
Suz.. congrats on the "best thread" nomination, and continue sharing as you see fit...
space, or anyone else for that matter... please, feel free to add your experiences as well... We love this kinda shit...
everyone else, if there's something you WANT to know, feel free to jump in... everyone (mostly suz) has shared so much around here, I can't see her holding back now...
forgotten's favorite. me drawing, and crying sitting in the locked utility rooms floor, my ex was on a rampage.... knowing I'm running out of money, and have to quit soon.
Hi ya spase! yeah...it's personal. but thats the juicy stuff. the truth, the things you should'nt talk about. it's always been my tendency to lean in that direction.
........it's nothing but a story now.
history.
I don't know another way to say some of it. ...it's my experiances concerning drugs and personal relationships.
about continuing ...
I gotta finish it tommorw, ..........I'm not as fresh as I'd like to be. work takes up the whole day.
also, one of us died that posts on KCI. one of our boys did'nt make it back from the dark side. ..........so I did a memorial to him on my board and it left me kind of blank.
but I'm off work tommorow. so the story will resume, and finish.
.........so have your popcorn ready kids. *smiles*
oh yes...we're all related. I always say our collective conscienceness helps build up our resistance, just having others like us to talk to.
.......we're related, so we're cosmic family.
bugz was posting a few months ago...
...apparently he liked alot of drugs, not just speed. I remember his poems the most, I'm sure he'll be famous now that he's dead.
this was the sad post from his girl today.....
"Hello there. This is hard. I know bugz used to come on here for support and he enjoyed posting his poems here. I dont think hes been here for a few months posting because someone told him to get help and then come back to the board. .... he faked a kidney stone to get morphine. A couple days later someone found him down by the creek where he used to go write his poems. God i shouldnt have let him go! He had eaten his whole perscription and fallen assleep in a snowbank by his creek. He froze to death overnight. "
here was my reply.... ........and what I put on my board for him.
I'll begin with..... ..........You can't blame yourself.
...It was'nt your fault,
in order to control his behaivior you'd have to lock him in the attic, you had no choice, but to let him have his God given right to choice, and let him live his life. you can't stop someone from doing what they want! ...it only builds resentment in a person, to have someone try to control them.
you're a good girl. ......just because you are'nt a control freak. letting go..and letting a person do what they want is the most loving thing you can offer. ....it makes being with you easier, if you are'nt clingy or complaining, or trying to force submission on, to dictate a person.
and it NEVER works. ....people still do what they want.
It's sublime to think YOU did'nt STOP this from happening. ........how could you possibly? there is NO WAY.
the cops never looked your way, because if you are home, and he's not, he's own his own.
possibly his destiny here was completed and he expired. ...there's more to life than what we can see. who knows? ...it could be his natural time.
It's dark, and I feel it.
one of ours did'nt make it thru.... ....everyone feels it. one of us died. I feel you. I am you.
...As far as I'm concerned bugz died a hero in battle. He was a soldier fighting in the drug war.
I bearly made it out myself... .......but I was on the front lines. (what a horrible pun ....not intended either) I saw the conditions, ... the starvation, the maddness, the greed, the exhaustion. I exchanged thoughts with other failed seekers who lived as prisoners of the meth war.
We were tricked.
we did'nt know things would end up this way. we thought it was so great, we shared our wonderful magic powder with the ones we love most... .......only to watch helplessly as they crumbled.
these things had to happen to gain the knowledge we have today.
bugz was part of the movement... ......the expedition to find something we could use to like ourselves more, create more, invent, love, share.
it turned on us all. bugz along with the others we lost should have a memorial in washington D.C.
we did it, and lost our minds, our lives, and those we love...along with everything else. ....so that others can know, it's not safe to go there.
everyday we try to tell this story.
...and you are yet another example, or tool for learning, that can help prevent another girl from crying.
.............Apology To The Loved Ones We Hurt..............
This is for all the people that have felt the terribe pain, From loving someone who hurts them so much again and again. We dont feel the remorse we should for the things we do, And to us at those times things were importand then you.
So I write this to every loved one that we have hurt, For every single person that we made feel like dirt. To every mother, father, brother, sister and friend, Who believed in us and open your pockets to lend.
We have lied to you, burned you, and stolden your stuff, We took as much as we could because we couldnt get enough. The people we have turned into arnt at all very nice, But for some reason you stood by to offer help and advice.
So I offer you all this heart filled apology, That comes from your loved one and not me. For every one that didnt give up through our craze, To all the people we made cry those nights and days.
We are deep inside still the person that you know, So thank you for holding on and not letting go. We shoulden have broken your trust and made you wary, And no words can describe how much were sorry.
also, I think this was forgotten on KCI! ..............if not, I think I got a girl for you forgotten!
*giggles*
Unregistered User (12/11/05 11:52 pm) Reply Re: Are addicts over sensitive -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Suzbar,
I hope you don't ever beleive meth again. Cause if you do, I'm gonna cry so bad. I would miss you. Your so funny and you help me. Of course meth would try to persuade you back cause meth hates wonderful people walking around the planet. I don't want nobody else kidnapped by meth. It seems all so Si-Fi. Now, I'm starting to bawl......do you have anymore Kleenex handy. The ones with the little flowers?
forget suzette Re: Are addicts over sensitive -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DSLO1? ...have you heard of forgotten enterprizes? ...you read very familiar.
