In the garage, with a shotgun, a rubber chicken, my cat, a RealDoll named Tsuki, a 6oz swordfish steak, a Captain Caveman decoder ring, a picture of the 1973 Dodgers, Zoomie's foot fetish, the occasional stripper to beat me up, 5 nicotine patches, a vial of Family Guy Anti Bacterial Soap, the occasional call from Suze, the occasional smoo, Avast AntiVirus, Mosh's Magical Marsupials, a bottle of Crisco, Spybot - Search & Destroy, the dude who pooped in the tuba, a PitBull named "Diesel", a limited edition 'Tickle Me Elmo', a Darth Vader mask, Terry Fader's turtle puppet, a bag of Ol'Roy dog food, a $5 gift certificate to "Biz-E-G's 'Lapdances and Laundry'", Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, the fabled "TSi CockRing Set", the new TSi "Paddle Me Palin" doll, a 250cc syringe full of empscum, a "Hello Kitty" tongue piercing kit, a pirated copy of WinRAR, a roasted turkey leg, my "Police Squad" box set, and K_o_C's non-used tube of Anal Eaze, I feel safe ...
Hard to lay too much blame at his feet for Neo, since the assholes that wrote the story picked him. They also offered it to Nicolas Cage & Will Smith - of the three, Keanu was the best outcome.
John Constantine was actually introduced in Swamp Thing by Alan Moore. They've actually been publishing Hellblazer since 1988, before the Sandman.
I really can't fault Keanu for that, either, because the part they wrote isn't John Constantine at all. He was only related to the comic character through the name and occult themes. I couldn't really figure out why they used Constantine, really, because comic book fans were going to hate that it wasn't the character that had been developed over the previous ~20 years, and the majority of mainstream movie goers had never, ever heard of the comic book.
Keanu was still pretty bad, but the movie would've ruined the character no matter who played it.
I always thought that phrase was from Army Of Darkness (the movie that for some fucking reason most people "LOVE TO DEATH" but don't even know it's a fucking third movie in a trilogy, fucking morons).
Joined: Fri Jan 12 2007, 04:38am
Location: Florida
Posts: 687
First off... It's really FREAKIN GREAT to hear that other know these facts... I dare not mention them around my fishin buddies because they think I am some kind of freak.
I agree with Emp on the choice of Neo... AND - I how many movies can you say where really good even though the lead actor sucked... say ANYTHING Kevin Costner or Tom Cruize has been it. HORRIBLE actors - but c'mon - tell me you didn't like 'The Postman"...
Anyway - I am looking very forward to this film. I hold no grudges against keanu - like the other bad actors that have been in good movies... I despise them all for being so rich whilst I live in poverty and dredge up a few cents to watch thier films...
oh wait... WHY DON'T WE ALL GO INTO FILM! Shwoops -Charmed just came came on - gotta go spank it...
Pop quiz, hotshot. Theres a humanoid on earth telling you that once you started blowing each other away with nuclear arms an alien federation decides that you might need to be erradicated and guess what, the magic phone booth no longer works so you can't go back in time to show the spaceman the great humans from throughout history. What do you do? What do you do?
wrote ... because they think I am some kind of freak.
If they already think you're a freak why do you care?
wrote ... tell me you didn't like 'The Postman"...
Never seen it. The only Costner films I can recall seeing are "Field of Dreams" and "JFK". Oh and "Dances With Wolves" All great movies that he couldn't fuck up. Fuck Tom Cruise.
I liked Speed, too. But not Speed 2. I'm so glad they didn't end up filming that here - once I saw the movie I was pretty happy I didn't get to be an extra in it.
Any movie with Dennis Hopper cannot be labeled retarded on any level.
Except Speed (another Keanu farce) and Firestarter 2 (bad King sequels should carry penalty of torture).
I really hope you just forgot about Super Mario Bros., cuz that was a pretty fuckin retarded shitfest. Actually, it was more of just a fucking bad movie. Waterworld still trumps on retardation, like it was written and directed by a Special Olympics thinktank-supergroup.
I actually liked the Super Mario Bros film when it came out, but I was 11 at the time. I've never seen it since, and reckon that's probably a good thing.
