In the garage, with a shotgun, a rubber chicken, my cat, a RealDoll named Tsuki, a 6oz swordfish steak, a Captain Caveman decoder ring, a picture of the 1973 Dodgers, Zoomie's foot fetish, the occasional stripper to beat me up, 5 nicotine patches, a vial of Family Guy Anti Bacterial Soap, the occasional call from Suze, the occasional smoo, Avast AntiVirus, Mosh's Magical Marsupials, a bottle of Crisco, Spybot - Search & Destroy, the dude who pooped in the tuba, a PitBull named "Diesel", a limited edition 'Tickle Me Elmo', a Darth Vader mask, Terry Fader's turtle puppet, a bag of Ol'Roy dog food, a $5 gift certificate to "Biz-E-G's 'Lapdances and Laundry'", Lisa Lisa from the Cult Jam, the fabled "TSi CockRing Set", the new TSi "Paddle Me Palin" doll, a 250cc syringe full of empscum, a "Hello Kitty" tongue piercing kit, a pirated copy of WinRAR, a roasted turkey leg, my "Police Squad" box set, and K_o_C's non-used tube of Anal Eaze, I feel safe ...
My cock needs an intervention from my speed habit. You can't imagine the pain that amphetamines bring to my life. A man can only take so much chafing and swelling before he says ENOUGH, But you know, I don't think I'll stop until I hit rock bottom.......when my cock finally falls off. Speed kills. Just ask my wiener.
But seriously, I can't even imagine getting to the point that some of those people do. I have a built in limiting factor when I do drugs. I mean, I can overindulge and have binges, but you'll never see me smoking or shooting anything or doing the same drug day in and day out.
I was such a friendly speed freak, I hung out with slammers, smokers, and hot railers... ...I had too weak a stomach to watch the slammers, and it seemed so VIOLENT.... I'd rather walk in on someone masturbating than shooting up dope...
.......I just gave em some on a spoon and went to another room to smoke it, if I partied with em. some of the dealers I knew, would'nt stop masturbating to make a deal... ...they'd just say "it's on the table" leave the money there too" and continue.
I got so desensitized, I've gotten dope from the dealer I lived with, in a one room and a kitchen type thing while he was in the middle of a 3 some with the manson girls, and never flinched. ......he might as well have been working on fixing a car.......it was so common to have that ever constant stream of porn videos in the background....it was like the picture on the television sort of popped off the screen, and I just walked around it...
.....of corse, in vegas, everyone from the pitt boss at the flamingo hilton, to the protitute on the corner had the same dealers...it's only a four mile town/sub culture/ bed of roaches behind the strip.
....it is a carnival of horrors....I think walking in on a pregnant woman shooting up was worse.
That's why recovering addicts need each other. ....we saw too damn much. it's like PTSD ....like war vetrines get from things they saw and experienced. ......it's possible, my masterbating, dealers, who offered me "free dope" to join em (I did'nt) or the pregnant slammer made it out, to recover as well. ......someone has to have empathy for them, and it's only us who will.
.......ya see? this is why I needed to build my forum
....there's some things, I don't tell my mom. it's just too much for her.
...and to always keep it locked inside me forever, makes me feel like an outsider.
like I don't belong in the "real world" you can really clear a room with enchanted memories like these.
Oh I have shit that I can use to cut down on friction but the problem is that once I start I get really into it and the next thing I know I've been jerking it for 8 hours without and lubrication. Either way, lube only helps with chafing, not swelling. The swelling doesn't hurt but it can be scary because I always have in the back of my mind the fear that it might stay that way. When I first had a marathon bop session and experienced my wang gaining twice it's girth, it freaked me the fuck out and I told myself if it didn't go away in a few days I was going to the hospital. I thought a permanently fucked my dick up. Thankfully it always goes away though. My ex actually enjoyed it quite much when I had sex with her like that.
Edited Wed Dec 17 2008, 07:20pm
I was such a friendly speed freak, I hung out with slammers, smokers, and hot railers... ...I had too weak a stomach to watch the slammers, and it seemed so VIOLENT.... I'd rather walk in on someone masturbating than shooting up dope...
.......I just gave em some on a spoon and went to another room to smoke it, if I partied with em. some of the dealers I knew, would'nt stop masturbating to make a deal... ...they'd just say "it's on the table" leave the money there too" and continue.
I got so desensitized, I've gotten dope from the dealer I lived with, in a one room and a kitchen type thing while he was in the middle of a 3 some with the manson girls, and never flinched. ......he might as well have been working on fixing a car.......it was so common to have that ever constant stream of porn videos in the background....it was like the picture on the television sort of popped off the screen, and I just walked around it...
.....of corse, in vegas, everyone from the pitt boss at the flamingo hilton, to the protitute on the corner had the same dealers...it's only a four mile town/sub culture/ bed of roaches behind the strip.
....it is a carnival of horrors....I think walking in on a pregnant woman shooting up was worse.
That's why recovering addicts need each other. ....we saw too damn much. it's like PTSD ....like war vetrines get from things they saw and experienced. ......it's possible, my masterbating, dealers, who offered me "free dope" to join em (I did'nt) or the pregnant slammer made it out, to recover as well. ......someone has to have empathy for them, and it's only us who will.
.......ya see? this is why I needed to build my forum
....there's some things, I don't tell my mom. it's just too much for her.
...and to always keep it locked inside me forever, makes me feel like an outsider.
like I don't belong in the "real world" you can really clear a room with enchanted memories like these.
Wow, see there's this huge scene and atmosphere that comes with street drugs where everything seems dilapidated. And that is exacerbated if you live in a big city (which I don't). I prefer to stick with pharmaceuticals because it lacks that atmosphere (for the most part) and I always know exactly what I'm getting and putting into my body. Besides, there's so much more of a selection too. And I love to shop for my drugs like a spoiled rich girl shops for shoes. It's not just methamphetamine, but meth (Desoxyn), dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine, Vyvanse), and mixed levo- and dextroamphetamine (Adderall). When it comes to opiates, pretty much all that's on the street is dirty cut heroin, where as there is a cavalcade of choices for pharmaceutical opioids which includes morphine which has been shown in studies to be indistinguishable from heroin in long time users.
I have always holed myself up in my own little drug world that is actually enjoyable and I don't have to feel dirty about smoking something of unknown potency and origin while some cokehead is shooting up freebase directly beside me.
Edited Wed Dec 17 2008, 07:39pm
