Oops - I didn't read your post before I posted the new thread Thrash. I just thought it deserved it's own thread.
Here it is:
Well, well.
My room smells like fuck, my face like vagina, my tongue hurts something fierce, I made a girl orgasm twice and I may or may not still be a virgin. Depends on whether or not there's a "depth" factor involved in the technical definition of virgin.
First, I gotta get this off my chest. Is it healthy that I am feeling paranoid as hell about the whole ordeal? I mean what if I "catch" something from her (what if she doesn't know she has something), or what if she ends up preggo or something. I mean there was a bit of sperm sloshing around last night. I would probably end me, if either of these happened. I didn't think all of this would be as stressful as it is.
Second, I think this girl wants a relationship. She hasn't directly brought it up, but she has said many little things that add up (in my mind) to her wanting me around for a while. I don't blame the girl. I have a lot going for me. The girl is pretty cool, but I don't really see myself with her on a real long-term basis. She smokes, which I despise, and really I like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want without having to worry about somebody else. At least right now. I'm also pretty private, and don't like my space invaded much.
Last night *NSFW and pretty detailed*
She comes over about 7, and we head out to this local pizza joint and have an excellent meal. Booze and wine too to soften it up. We get home, and I have two blu-ray movies I rented (Sunshine and The Orphanage). We drink a couple more beers and start Sunshine. Good movie. Make out a little, kissy-kissy, feely-feely. More drinks, and then The Orphanage. Lots of holding (scary movie make things that much more convenient), caressing, playful stuff. After the movie we kiss a while, and then put in Bubba Ho-Tep. Get halfway through the movie and that's it. I decide it's time, to stop putting shit off. Start heavy making out, and deep kissing for a long time. She unbuttons my shirt and I pull her top up and her bra down. Start licking, sucking on her tits. Mmm. She's groaning now... heavy making out continues. I take my time, building anticipation. I tell her we should move into the bedroom.
Off we go. My shirt's off now, and I take hers off. We stand next to the bed hugging tightly (my boner is pressing against her). As we're kissing more and caressing, I reach around and unclasp her bra. The second god damn clasp wouldn't come undone. After some fumbling I joked "1 down 1 to go" and she laughed and said that clasp was broken. (Maybe to make me feel better - who knows.) I finally get the second one, and let her bra hang there with the back open... not taking it off just yet. Kiss, kiss, caress, rub, press. Then off goes the bra and I work them milk sacs for a while getting her squirming.
Hands go down to her jeans, and I unbutton her first button. She undoes my belt and takes it off. I play around a bit, rubbing her abdomen area and grabbing her ass through the jeans, again in no rush. Eventually I go for the second button and off with her pants. She unzips mine and off with mine. (All the while we are still standing next to the bed). We have more heavy making out and dry fucking between eachother's underwear.
Here comes the bed. She lays down and I lay on top and continue dry humping. She's moaning heavily, wanting it bad!! After bit, I lap her nipples up with my tongue, and start kissing a line down the center of her body, towards the treasure buried beneath. I remember reading that teasing brings girl's to the brink of ecstasy. So I leave her panties on for the time being. I start kissing her inner thighs and get close enough where my nose can touch her clit/vagina through her panties while I am sucking on her very upper thigh. She starts writhing in ecstasy and I continue sucking and "fucking" her with my nose haha. She LOVED that shit and was mashing her cooch into my nose and in no time was shuddering/convulsing.
I tear her panties away... and start exercising my tongue. She goes buck wild. I change it up from licking, to inserting and tongue fucking. Eventually I find something she really likes and I start doing it over and over and she pushes my head down and is moaning my name!!!! Haha BAM she has another shuddering orgasm. I read that if you find something that makes a girl go wild, keep doing the same thing until she orgasms - there's some psychology behind it. (I love askmen.com) Haha I gagged a couple of times when I was first tongue-fucking her -- I don't think she knew.
Now she tears down my boxers and I lay on top... rubbing her v with my d. (No condom -- this was dangerous as hell but I just was so hot I couldn't be bothered to go grab one.) So no real penetration here. We do this until I'm spent (not near her puss).
Sleep time. Only I can't sleep for the love of everything that is good in this world. I guess just having another person in the bed with me was surreal plus my adrenaline was rushing. She fell asleep with neigh a problem. Argh.
Fast forward to this morning. I have a boner that needs to be dealt with. We start caressing, touching, kissing in bed under the covers. She inserts the tip of my dick in her vagina and pumps it with her hand, pulling out of her v with every hand-pump. When I start breathing seriously heavy because I'm close she pulls my tip out and jerks me off the rest of the way on the bed.
Yeah, I did take her out to breakfast at IHOP hah. She wants me to come over tomorrow "just for a kiss" she says, before she leaves town for a week. We'll see if I stop by or not.
So, the question is - am I a virgin or am I not? Does that count?
Edited Sun Dec 21 2008, 10:48pm
Dammit! DO NOT GO OVER TO HER HOUSE FOR "A KISS" WITHOUT A 3-PACK OF TROJANS YOU DUMBASS.
And if I'd actually put any money on you, I'd have a couple of my hippy pothead friend from Austin on their way over there to take out your kneecaps. Fuck you up for a $10 baggie.
Nice job but you let us down again. Ya gotta pop one INSIDE her.
Now you just gotta ram that dick in her till your balls are banging off her asshole. Pop one like that and you're no longer a virgin.
But, that's already been covered hasn't it.
And yes, it's normal your first couple of times to be scared you knocked someone up or caught something. After you dodge a few bullets you start to not worry so much.
Yep, like mentioned above, definitely a technical virgin until you are balls deep in that bitch. Congrats nonetheless.
Now everybody seems to be freaking out about the whole condom thing, but pulling out is just as effective IF you know your own body and can control it. It's been proven that pulling out is just as safe as a condom if performed correctly. Precum has no sperm in it, so no worries. Just don't stick it in if you have previously jizzed without pissing after (piss kills sperm) or there could be a slight chance of preggin her up. I've never started sex with a condom, that kinda ruins the whole thing for me. In most situations I started without one and always pulled out to put one on when I was pretty close to getting off. Either that or shoot on the face/tits/ass/back or in the mouth.
The only time I accidentally got too close to blowing it in a chick that wasn't on BC was when I was all hopped up on Adderall one night fucking this chick from behind. Amphetamines fuck with your sex drive, and how orgasms and whatnot feel (as in it makes sex feel ten times better) so sometimes you might not even be sure if you've actually started cumming or not.
Man. And I thought the only people that were sticklers for techincal virginity were unmarried Catholic chicks.
Also, I do think it's funny that "just the tip, just for a minute" apparently happened in reverse and not with the usual intended consequence of not being just the tip.
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
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danzig wrote ...
Yep, like mentioned above, definitely a technical virgin until you are balls deep in that bitch. Congrats nonetheless.
Now everybody seems to be freaking out about the whole condom thing, but pulling out is just as effective IF you know your own body and can control it. It's been proven that pulling out is just as safe as a condom if performed correctly. Precum has no sperm in it, so no worries.] Just don't stick it in if you have previously jizzed without pissing after (piss kills sperm) or there could be a slight chance of preggin her up. I've never started sex with a condom, that kinda ruins the whole thing for me. In most situations I started without one and always pulled out to put one on when I was pretty close to getting off. Either that or shoot on the face/tits/ass/back or in the mouth.
Is everyone in Maine as delusional as you?
At this point, due to, and not limited to;
that statement
your "little friends"
... I'm commanding Baggie to NOT listen to you anymore about this part of the topic
If by delusional you mean educated, than yes I am. Try doing some research, Thrash. You might learn something new, like that what I said is completely true. If you had any fucking clue the amount of shit I do research on.....despite my attitude and the way I come off, I have more knowledge than you would ever imagine. What you might not know, is that I HATE IT when people spew forth information that is totally bogus, so I try my fucking damnedest to be as accurate as possible when I state something like that. You know I suppose I have a certain persona online that is most definitely not a total representation of who I am. In fact, I tend not to show much depth in my posts whatsoever. It's usually not worth it.
And there was no way of me to know at the time that my girlfriend had an STD, so the fact that I have "little friends" doesn't render what I say to be null and void.
Edited Mon Dec 22 2008, 03:41am
Dr. Danzig, piss kills sperm? Is this a medical fact? I find a bunch of conjecture when googling it.
To answer everybody's question - no I didn't say a word about my lack of sexual experiences.
Shouldn't I be happier than I am feeling today? I feel almost shameful... maybe because she's not the hottest chick ever. (I'd say a 5). Lack of sleep didn't help. And hoping to not have to say yo, you're kinda cool, but I don't see myself with you. I don't want to get invested in her.
Tomorrow, I'll probably end up going to her house after work just to finish the job, and then I'm gonna hit up "E" (the girl I took to the firm party) and see if she wants to do something for New Year's or whatever. Her personality is so fucking awesome. She's basically like a tom-boy and loves the same stuff I do. This girl is one of those "agenda" types. She works for a company helping the community, is into green stuff, anti-consumerism, blah blah blah. Stuff that is NOT the most important thing in my life.
Ho hum. Why can't I find a moderately hot chick, WHO DOESN'T SMOKE, and has a bad ass personality?
Edited Mon Dec 22 2008, 04:12am
Dr. Danzig, piss kills sperm? Is this a medical fact? I find a bunch of conjecture when googling it.
Yes, it's mildly acidic and kills sperm. That's what the Cowper's gland is for, to secrete a fluid to neutralize any acid still left in the urethra and help lubricate it so sperm can have an easy ride out your dick.
Thrash wrote ...
Last I knew I had a DEGREE in the medical field ... (ACLS Master Paramedic/Trauma Nursing - Secondary in Computer Science - Dual Major)
So, yeah ... What in the fuck do I know, right?
That degree only means that you've learned the information taught to you by the books you read in college, when there is a fuck load of information that isn't in those books. A college degree doesn't automatically make you an expert. Now I'm sure you know a hell of a lot more when it comes to nursing and whatnot than I do considering that field isn't that much of an interest to me, but it apparently doesn't make you as educated as I am on that specific subject (how sperm transfer and whatnot works) because apparently you think that the FACTS I stated about it are bullshit.
And when it comes to subjects I know A LOT about. Well you can believe me or not, but I promise I'm not talking out of my ass in any way when I say that I have met doctors, psychiatrists, and yes, even addiction specialists who don't know as much as I do about drugs and are misinformed on many subjects. So take your degree, and shove it up your ass, because in the long run, it doesn't mean a whole lot considering all the information in those books and so much more is available to the public to educate themselves about, and I happen to be one of those people that takes advantage of educating myself for free.
Edited Mon Dec 22 2008, 04:50am
It's kinda funny that you said that cuz I know a few people who have called me Dr. Dyl based on my plethora of pharmacology information. (and I actually have taken a course on pharmacology on top of my self education)
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Posts: 14373
Look you dunderheaded fuck, I'm not fully questioning what you wrote (in full), I'm questioning your context VS the timing of his sexual "conquesting" ...
Point blank; as you wrote it, and as read, if he came, then they reromped and he tried your little trick, he'd be up shit's creek ... (wrong or not on either side)
Basic point: You meant well, however, "DOCTOR", you fucking failed ...
Don't confuse your drug-addled self-delusion and lack of caring for your life as an excuse to NOT properly care for his! Oh, yeah, and you sit in a room all day doing drugs, I'm out working and USING MY DEGREES DAILY .... You know, the ones that apparently taught me nothing according to you ...
PS: The DAY you read, and study, the books I had to read for my degree, and study them to the point of memorization like I had to TO EARN A DEGREE, you can start debating medical and computer "facts" with me ... Until then, YOU ARE WRONG, POINT FUCKING BLANK!
And there was no way of me to know at the time that my girlfriend had an STD, so the fact that I have "little friends" doesn't render what I say to be null and void.
It does render you flippant attitude about condoms null and void.
You had no way of knowing she had a STD - hence why you should wear a condom. The study that first indicated that viable sperm may not be present in preejaculate was actually conducted to determine if HIV was carried in preejaculate - which it is. Sexually transmitted diseases do not rely on ejaculation.
The other point is that pulling out has a much higher expected failure rate, especially among the sexually inexperienced. Even if you compare the 100% proper use, withdrawl is still slightly less effective than condom use. Planned parenthood has a handy chart: [Click, Dick]
The expectation of 100% correct use is probably not a good assumption from which to start.
