wrote ...

I learned that if you have a daydream it MUST have a pink border floating around it.

I learned that you can stop time by saying "time out" and making the appropriate symbol with your hands.

I learned that drinking a sip of beer will make you hit a telephone pole and give you a killer hangover the next day.

I learned that you can relocate from Indiana to California, bring two of your friends and the principal from the old school, and suddenly develop new friendships that you have somehow had for years.

I learned that A.C. Slater is a communist.

I learned that that it really is possible to have a robot pal named Kevin and that he his congnitive to his surroundings and will help you with you birthday troubles.

I learned that caffeine pill addiction is a serious epidemic on our nation's youth.

I learned that two of your friends, one your supposed best and the other a girl of your dreams, can suddenly disappear and be replaced by a butch leather jacket wearing girl named Tori. Then they can magically reappear and yet Tori disappears. It is a frightening paradox

I learned that it is better to rely on your principal than it is to rely on his cool, but careless brother.

I learned that a family can change from episode to episode. Sometimes I have a brother, and sometimes I do not.

I learned that nerds and geeks are people that wear glasses and have funny voices.
... also, despite being very smart they are easily tricked every single week.

I learned that you and all of your best friends can be in EVERY class together EVERY year.

I learned that six students in a school CAN participate in every extracurricular activity, organize and foil a teacher strike, and even perform as a band at school dances.

I learned that in public spots, like The Max, you can have pep rally's, parties, and theme dances there, and the "whole school" shows up, consisting of 15 people.

I learned that when you get one new girl at school to replace 2 old girls at the same school that that school must have a dance every other week while the new girl is in existance.

I learned that schools in Cali have 20 people, 4 or 5 teachers, and 2 classrooms; tops.

I learned that movie theatres have only 5 rows of folding chairs.

I learned that most high school gyms come equipped with 3 rows of bleachers and a half court of basketball with a 6 foot tall basket.

I learned that you can have 6 brothers and sisters and no one EVER sees them or hears of them again.

I learned that you can have those same 7 brothers and sisters and complain about how poor you are, yet still manage to have a good wardrobe and make up.

In a related lesson learned, I learned that you can have a different birthfather
... just like that!

I learned that no matter how much trouble you get in, no matter how much homework you never do, no matter how many kids you rip-off, you won't get expelled, and the principal will love you.

I learned that you can randomly talk to people who aren't there at any time and no one around you would even question it, which obviously and naturally leads to the next thing I learned;

I learned there is "no hope on dope".

... unless it's payote because I also learned that you can never do homework a day in your life, get a 1500 on your SAT's and still get accepted to Yale.

I learned that two friends can have the same exact house
....with the same exact furniture.

I learned that there will be a prom to attend EVERY year of high school.

I learned that you can manufacture secret sauce from your very own high school and that EVERYONE will want it; BADLY!

I learned that if you miss school your principal will sporadically send over your friends to check on you.

I learned that it's not wierd for a waiter brings live animals to work for magic tricks.

I learned that you can't sing in some episodes, but somehow in others you can have your own band or girl group that has a possible record deal.

I learned that everyone will want to see a rap version of Snow White.

You can put on a simple wig and glasses, change your voice and you can be a chick named Bambi
... and your best friends wouldn't know the difference.

I learned that once you dance with handicapped girls, you never see them ever again.

I learned that you can hit on a girl or guy every day and very very very rarely get turned down if you're good looking by shallow people's standards.

I learned that after you date a girl who is not in your said "group", she will dissapear and never be seen again

I learned that no one in high school has sex and that it's considered to be wild that you kiss on the lips.

I learned that in high school and college there's absolutley no pressure whatsoever about sex.

I learned that 3 guys and 3 girls can live together in a dorm room and no one EVER sleeps together.

I learned that people actually show up to Chess Matches and that they are widely listened to on the radio for those not in attendance.

I learned that behind a locker in every high school in America there is an old, but perfectly functional, radio station that used to be used by the principal when he was a hippie.