Joined: Wed Mar 16 2005, 01:18am
Location: in a Finnish goat hut north of the Arctic circle
Posts: 1534
Alright pal.
Time to flame nice n bright on your bleached up pucker of a face
Especially now that the vaunted 'thrashinc.com' is a veritable eggshell of it's former 'glory' No one will know or care if Big Dave is aflame Cuz no one is here but us hanging lamers. With all your posters hanging out with drug addicts (and loved ones!) at AmerMeth now, it must be a real head scratcher for someone like yourself. All you got here is a PMSing UK party girl, an Aussie with no chin, and a grumpy old mailman. Talk about deflations.
All you have now is long hours doing research and finding new and ingeneous ways to consider your life's true and dearest passion. The almighty and all vapor exhaling human anus. You probably have a 9th degree black belt in proctology and you don't even know it. But(t) alas,
I imagine you should reconsider what 'league' you presume yourself to be in. Some minor league, or bush league perhaps. With old polyester uniforms. Bar league? Shuffleboard league? Fuck-hole league?
You got the fancy site, but no legion... No minions to console and cajole and no one to urge grundle exposuring. Such a long and angry tumble you have taken.
All cuz of an angsty jew-kid One I was CORRECT about all along.
Was it a TOS attack? It's looking like an SOL attack at this point. All the drama and dynamics are *poof* and no one cares for snot.
And where's the love and support in this fucking dump? Ya, I might be a bored sot in need of attention (or something?) But you get the best of me in cyber-space bucko I post sincere shit in music and you promise comments and follow-ups And all I get is thin fucking air and some kind of cyber ball-fondle chain-jerk from Mr Air Supply Worship Like it's really interesting to you?
Death Metal? I hope you think of this picture the next time you 'hit the stage' with your glorified bar-band like some fat rockstar, and you realize what a big clunky poser you are. Get off the stage, ya Russell Hitchcock wannabe.
THRASH MINUS A TEE SHIRT EQUALS 200 pounds of BIRD SHIT
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Posts: 14373
So which Mike is going to show up to this callout? The typical victim that gets laid out like a 4-foot long plank, trampled, ass up, like he was the last strip of the P-Town Street Fair; or will it be "Super Mike Osbourne", clad in a dildo-shaped choda-boy hat, ready to charge at any fist hurled in his immediate zip code, rhino-style, like a human Patriot Missle?
It's gonna be quite interesting to see ...
I mean, seriously; why do you insist on humping my leg so hard in threads just like this, only to pull off 8-seconds later to proudly display your smoking, denim-induced rug burn on your clitordick as your best flame?
Joined: Wed Mar 16 2005, 01:18am
Location: in a Finnish goat hut north of the Arctic circle
Posts: 1534
Neither.
You got a fancy new Mike flamer here, mushmouth One with an inflated sense of strident assholery that cannot be difused by old references to amateur hours gone before.
Cuz I get things about you now Dave. I know yer such a cynical twat, for instance. So cynical in fact, that nothing anyone says anymore is at all trusted by you, the internet's flubbery Queen of Skeptical Reaction and Gnurled-up Eyebrow. For you, no one gets a fair shot and everyone is posing as internet scum, and threats and deviance are PROBABLY running amok right under your turned-up nose. Sounds like you need to get out and make some eye contact with people. Yer a stewing depressive malcontent gazing at pixelated puckers all day while life and love pass you by. Tell me, when you are fixated for such long hours, do the buttholes wink at you? I mean, yer almost as bad as Palmer when it comes to sexual repression here. If I was Brooke, I might just consider a wall to wall menstruation period, never mind 4-5 days a month.
Tell me, was there an issue with Mom when you were figuring out where to point your 'chocolate choo-choo train' as a tot? Maybe you were prone some kind of premature bowel evacuation on the way to the head, so some type of creative teachings were in order? Did she toilet train you while she was carrying a whip and some hot S+M outfit? Did a young and impressionable Dave get forced-fed a few stray stools that tumbled free from yer out-of-control sphinctor muscles by a fed up Daddy? I think someone enjoyed the freedom of their Pampers Big Boy Pants just a little too much.
And now... God. What is your dream date I wonder? That poor poor someone. You gotta be the only guy I know that keeps a GOATSE pic in his wallet like it's a family member. I mean, just the other day you were SERIOUSLY considering doing your own homemade version of TUBGIRL, only this was going to be TUBDAVE and your own beer induced fountain of diarrhea.
So, ya ... a date with Dave
Yahoo Personals Dave Thrash (anal provacateur) ..... ..... 15. My perfect date is:
"I like to start with a blumpkin swap, followed by a round of bobbing for dumpies. Then, we get drunk. a shot of tequila, 14 cans of Old Milwaukee. Then, I basically finger both of our assholes while we watch 'Will and Grace' or something 'Just Dave'!" ..... ..... .....
For you, abstract thought is wondering if the dog's asshole is winking, or if it let a silent fart.
Okay, besides being cynical and anal-obsessive, you might be the most jaded man ever. I bet you sigh like 500 times a day. There is nothing left to see or say or do. There is nothing left that is nauseating enough There is no turd or anal plume you haven't experienced There is no wrinkle in any asshole or grundle hue or taint ridgeline you haven't been able to relate to.
Finally tonite, yer a complete lost fuck-up when it comes to rating flames. You follow some arcane (not her) convoluted esoteric scoring concept only understood by you. None of your reasoning makes sense, your grasp of 'funny' is a myth, more goes into your 'thinking' than the first guy who read "War and Peace" besides Tolstoy, and yet all we get is an irrelevant, incredibly late, ill conceived and thereby pointless reaction...
Joined: Wed Mar 16 2005, 01:18am
Location: in a Finnish goat hut north of the Arctic circle
Posts: 1534
*** UM ***
This is an announcement, and not an official portion of this FLAME WAR
This flame war between Dave and I will have no time limit, and if I can help it, no post limit Dave is immersed in 'work', and cannot participate in a drawn out lengthy posting ritual
He will return as soon as he can, and promises to blugdeon my doughy head into a nice frappe for all to see and guffaw over.
He is also probably gazing at the smiley face drawn on a scrotum over at AmerMeth, but that is irrelevant to this post.
Joined: Wed Mar 16 2005, 01:18am
Location: in a Finnish goat hut north of the Arctic circle
Posts: 1534
Okay, this 'flame' has lapsed into abject oblivion. Dave has now gone a complete month without nary a whisper here So... I will have to provide the continued one-sided onslaught
Also, at this point, I'd like to mention that I re-read all the above entries, and they are pretty god-damned funny - AND - quite flamey and prickly feeling. Good times.
It seems the 'gauntlet' is okay with Photobucket now too Maybe it is you that has some pull over there? So you can host the LOL anus.
So let's talk about your round head. It looks like it's made of granite, or possibly marble. There's a town in Massachusetts called Marblehead, have you ever been? How come you wear a buzzcut dude? - receding hairline or 'island of hair' formation situation emerging? - ease of use? - it looks the same no matter what room you wake up in? - you're participation in the Gold's Gym Float as the 'merman' in the latest San Francisco Gay Pride parade? - your flamboyant 'tutu solo' at the Tuesday Karaoke Nite?
You could really say I've hated your looks since the start (it gave me) In fact, your avatar is probably a step up (they say the brown eye sees all) My entire image of you is distilled nicely in your avatar, all things considered.
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
Posts: 14373
Here's how much your "flames" got to me; I forgot this thread even existed ... ... thanks for acknowledging my external life though
Meanwhile, I'll give you a little something to think about here:
In the past, and even in this thread, I've jammed that spring-mounted meatball that bobbles above your shoulders six feet under more times than anyone can count. If I was given Frequent Flier credit for all the mileage I've put in walking all over you, I'd be on the next shuttle to fucking Mars; at no charge.
The only thing in your future is the completion of your Wile E. Coyote plans to build an anatomically correct ACME, life-sized Fabio Real-Doll to settle down with; you know, since women's panties are the closest thing you get to actual XX-Chromosomed, human creatures (minus your alter ago).
Now, seriously, Pookie; I've pulverized your penis-packed persona into pixie-dust so many fucking times that I could rent a crop duster, release your powdered essence from a couple-thousand or so feet up (your favorite position, btw), and turn half of the state of Nebraska into toe-tapping, Judy Garland fans ...
Then again, this is your thread, and I'm the host; shall I just let you win now?
Joined: Wed Mar 16 2005, 01:18am
Location: in a Finnish goat hut north of the Arctic circle
Posts: 1534
heh?
Smugness? Good grief man. Claiming forgetfullness is a little self-serving don't you think?
Just because you've avoided your destiny as my fat fluffy flame-slave all this time, doesn't give you and your bloated beer-belly butt a pass due to mental flakery. You had 'work' remember? Or was it a latent fear of flaming burns and subsequent embarassments? In fact, I contend your trite rhyme style has lost it's edge and harmonious rhythms, rendering your flow nothing but an intermittant feeble trickle of idiotic ideas and jerky jabs.
I flail in your general direction.
*thinks* Yeah, I'm smart... Let me see. My name is Dave. I'm 'anal-inventive' My hornified self is not unlike Eddo very much. ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS I am like a mole in that hole I would select a rectum I detect. It's finer than any vaginer. I would die happy, with my face in a crappy. Stick my tongue in someone's bung, maybe Connie Chung?
I digress slightly, to make a point. I'm just trying to figure things out, in a Dave context. I like panty, so I have panty onhand. You like assholes, but.... No asshole on hand. Hmm. Call me silly or even insult my fetish, but at least I get to indulge in it as needed.
I love Brooke, but the irony does not escape me... You, assmaster extraordinaire and an excitable excrement ejector in your own right, have chosen a woman who DOES NOT DO ASS PLAY.
There isn't sufficient LOL on the internet to employ to make my feelings obvious.
There once was an EMT named Dave And anus was all he would crave But he picked the wrong chick Now he's alone with his dick To the vagina he's totally enslaved
