Yeah so it's Christmas night and me and my sister are going over to her friends house to have a few drinks and wind down. Unfortunately, I only had one drink before I got shot. My sister's friend's boyfriend left the loaded pistol with the safety off, ready to fire, on the table. My sister had never seen nor held any kind of gun before and apparently thought it was was a lighter, even though it was clearly A BLACK, STEEL, PISTOL. She apparently had good aim and accidentally shot me right in my eye. Since then I've been convinced she is half retarded. Whenever I told people that I got shot by my sister accidentally they asked "Oh, how old is she?" and they seemed quite puzzled when I replied "Twenty six". Fortunately the human eye is a tough little motherfucker and was relieved when the paramedics told me the BB didn't pop the eyeball but grazed it. It's still lodged in the back of my eye socket, as it would have been more dangerous to remove it than to leave it in. Fentanyl was the only pain killer that worked for me that night. It was the second most painful experience, the first being my kidney stone. My vision in my left eye is all fucked up now.
And please, no Christmas Story jokes, I heard enough of those.
Well it's not like it's gonna make me fucking cry, I'm just saying if you think it's a funny original thing to say, it isn't. And yes, logic goes out the window when I talk.
