No clue why, but everything is synced up great this time. I think it has to do with YouTube. And I just noticed how extra sausagey my fingers look on video :-/
I look and feel great!...........but that might have something to do with getting my Vyvanse script today. I'm gonna be crashing hardcore, but not for a while.
desire to use, is craving, or jonsing in itself. .....but, you get to keep your money, job, family... plus, whatever sanity, and dopeamine you got left.
Yes, I realize you are. And I'm a BAD influence cuz I'm a speedfreak too. I still haven't slept, 2 days awake going strong, biatch. Fortunately I have some Requip (Ropinirole) for my comedown. It's a dopamine agonist. You still feel tired as shit but it helps replenish the dopamine in your brain so you don't get the sads
Oh my god, my stomach is yelling at me. I think I ate some oatmeal and 2 candy bars in the last couple days. Anyways, this is my new friend, aren't they purrty?
do you know how many speed freaks I talk to a day in active addiction?
...LOL! ....you are'nt a bad influence on me.
I'm my own worst enemy. ....I have to save me from myself..
everytime someone relapses I ask the same question.
....was it fun???
It never is. .....sadly, it only gets worse.
you're welcome to come to methology, if you ever feel you need support, or people to talk to who have been where you are... .....perverted, and malnurished.
everytime someone relapses I ask the same question.
....was it fun???
It never is. .....sadly, it only gets worse.
See, I'm a slightly different breed of druggie. Most addicts hate themselves for being an addict, and they admit to deep down hating drugs, but can't stop themselves. Not me. I might hate myself, but it has nothing to do with my drug use. Drugs are one of the few things I enjoy. I've never relapsed because I've never tried to quit and I don't want to at this moment. Most of the time I do drugs I have fun, or else I wouldn't do them.
..oh yeah, due to the personal nature of my board. you gotta register, but, I'll validate you if do.
If you are'nt ready to quit, we'll prolly just kill your joy...
...besides the perversion, shock value, and distraction I try to keep at high level.... .....we'll tell you how bad it is to keep doing it too.
it's not a violation of any rules to be "un clean".....
.....but, it IS an anti meth board.
we're not gonna lie to you. ....it's never a happy ending.
Thanks for the invite, but the last thing I wanna post on is an ANTI drug board. And all the shock stuff is great, it scares some people into not doing it and it should because it's probably those people that are likely to be twitching in a ditch. It doesn't scare me be I've known my drug plateau for years. The kind of drugs and the amount I do has been fairly static for many years. Starting drugs at 14 years old and being 24 now, if I was gonna be like the people on intervention than I would have been somewhere close by now. I'll quit drugs once I stop having an existential crisis, which might be never. If I actually start to get self esteem and motivation to live, than I'll have a reason to quit.
Thrash: Yeah, every druggie is different like every snow flake is different, but if you back up a few feet and look at them they are all the fucking same. I'm the neon green radioactive snowflake, I don't expect anyone to understand my mindset or where I'm coming from anyways, and I don't want anyone to try to.
I hate the whole popular mindset of drug use, addiction, and how you should quit. It all seems so hokey. I went to an addiction group and the whole thing seemed like a big joke to me. And......I'm sure this is gonna get someone's panties in a bunch.....but all the idiots who keep fucking shooting up daily even though they are literally sucking dick for drug money and sleeping on a park bench all seem to have stereotyped traits like being molested or abused as a child. The whole rehab system is built around these stereotypical traits and that's why I give the people who run the drug programs so many headaches and they don't know what to do with me. Even though I am clearly an addict, I can't be helped with their step by step programs that are geared towards cookie cutter addicts. And you know what, maybe I think differently or maybe I'm delusional, it doesn't matter, and I don't wanna hear anyone's opinions if they wanna contradict me only because I've heard it a million times before and I'm gonna shut the fuck up now cuz I'm ranting. /dextroamphetamine
