I was told I'm the worst employee that ever put a can on a shelf, IN THE year long HISTORY OF this SUPER TARGET.
......................for my yearly review.
........got mrsa.
missed 2 weeks of work.
Next... .........I didn't clock out in time for lunch, and personally broke a 90 day, no ****ing up record .....for clocking out on time for lunch celebration....
(I'm never late for lunch)
Then, for my encore.... .............I sprained my back... ....I did'nt wanna tell em...because I knew......
I would personally brake another 60 day record, for having no accidents in
....THE WHOLE STORE!..
I never hurt myself at work in my life, or done Workman's comp.
........I had to tell her I got hurt...and do workman's comp.
....I told em the next day....
I got written up for not telling them the same day.
...............I thought I could sleep it off....but it was ALOT worse the next day.
"but....My safety come 1st! I shouldn't have worried about the 60 day streak! I should have TOLD them"
................yet, my boss cried filling out the forms.
"......your poor TEAM members!
HOW can one person, who doesn't care, bring down the WHOLE TEAM. .................THEY TRY SO HARD!!"
SHE ALMOST GOT ME......BUT, she is way off.
......................I PASSED THE RANDOM DRUG TEST!
they were impressed i passed the drug test, and am a natural lunatic.
PLU they KNOW I work my ass off...
............so, we're knocked out of 3rd place in the district.....
for safety! ....because I was hurt, for trying to do what she asked.
.....SO THE BOSS DON'T GET A BONUS.
lenny bruce is not afraid! ........it's the end of the world as we know it... .............................I feel fine.
I got 2 write ups, and a 3rd one for having so many write ups at once....
===========YESTERDAY===========================
....THIS is a new experiance..
Will I not supply the resistance, needed to keep the fires burning???
............. and walk away YET again? .
I don't like going against anyone.....IT'S NOT WORTH IT to me ...... ...to make people hurt, or see them squirm, take their income...
even tho they did it to me, or would if they could...
...I appreciate them showing me their capacity for loyalty, compassion, and kindness....... by helping my undertanding of what they are...
....and I am not that, and never ready for it ...................cruel intentions...or words that don't need to be said for a particular time.....
...they are said just TO HURT
that's all.
...why?
.............all the provocations of my life...
I walked away from it, ewith no thought of "revenge"
.........and true to myself...
.....happily geting manipulative people out of my life, was worth whatever the cost. ..................it's money well spent.
and lets you know who is cool, and who is gonna give me "surprize sabbatage, ...............with intentions to HURT me, for kicks.
some will say anything to "win" instead of "solve a problem"
what did I learn from these people?
......how I shine in the darkness around me
I feel bad she grew up where this was common practice.
OR will I grow some nuts this time...
..................and protest the completely uncalled for OUTRAGOUS, vulger displays of power.. .......... intentionally TRYING TO make me think....I'm substandard.
because she knows I won't counter her....
but, she thinks it's only because of my insecurities about being "different" .....not a sheep...different...not following or leading...and doing things no one else,
..........she really has'nt caught on to my lack of intrest in sparring, beatles frame of thought......not "hitting back"
I don't have to be a savage, just because others are.... ...I just feel bad for them.
living life like that stemmed from SOMEONE teaching it to her at her expense.
at work...
I do the things no one likes..... ............unconventionally...but..VERY effectively
(cosmetics, spices, plug in air freshener, barretts and hair ties... .....GADGETS!! .......oh I LOVE magic sliders, hooks, nails, spackle, cauking, screws, tacks, sandpaper, tools, fuses....again...tine leetle things...that only i can see...with the naked eye..........and of all things....shoes..all i ware are converses..
......all like littlle dominoes....all ready to fall if you sneeze.
I like it...
some sections actually "speak to me"
................... literally.
like.....puff up, or grab my attention.... ......................so I can see em....they scream "suzie! I'm over here"
...unexplicable...I dunno how I do it either.
I HATE those sections....everyone else seems to like....
I'm not understanding my bosses modivation...
...........FOR TELLING ME
"the task is taking me WAY too long, and your expectations of my work are minimal"
.......so I sped up, to my backs expense, was very uneasy....and confused about it....I was going as fast as possible.
..........MENTAL CRUELTY, button pushing, and difficulty.
OK...
6 People I work with, SAW it.
.....and WERE ACTUALLY WAITING FOR ME TO COME OUT OF WORK yesterday......
...some, people who like me... and even some people who are vanilla, to me...I know don't "get" me...or gossup.
.....so I treat em with humanity and I'm polite...and don't hang with em.
I don't care... ...have fun kids.....I'm glad to know who's who...
ANYWAY..
about 6 peeps were there...and said...
.SUZIE....call a LAWYER ...this is so WRONG.....you are being HARRASSED.
I was like...
......really?
I thought I just was'nt connecting the messages right.... ....it is pressing buttons she knows hurts me....for no reason
but I never went against anyone and tried to take their job, or hurt them before.
...I never even saw it done.. I leave too fast.
they said...
...she has caused about 8 GREAT people to quit....by riding them.
................just like you.
this might be the time you should consider doing this sort of thing as right and JUST..
..for her own education and the future pain of others
at LEAST report her to target corperate.
....WHAT SHE'S DOING TO YOU IS CRUEL, AND WRONG..
...you don't deserve it.
I gotta dr appt tommorow tho.. ...if it still hurts...they pay me to stay home.
I HOPE I'm not hurt.. ....but, she definately helped if it does.
I need help, this is new...but 6 peeps who saw it, waiting to tell me, I'm being harrassed?
it's VERY uncomfortable for me....
.....they said...it won't be for the lawyer, this is america you are allowed to be an individual.
=====================FINALLY====================
.....I had to go back to the Dr today..
so they could see how this week went.
.......I told them, mary was pushing me to hurry, and my back was sore again..
THEY told mary to step off ...........and are sending me to an orthopedic dr.
THEY put me BACK on work restriction....to only lifting 15 lbs max.
SO.....
...................I went in and saw her.....and gave her the dr's note...
I said, I had to go back to the dr, for the last time today....so they could see how I was......
I had to ice my back last night. ............it's sore again, not as bad as it was, but, ...it was hurting last night.
you said I was working too slow.....and I over did it.
..........she said, "I did not"
I said, Mary....you pulled me out in the isle...and said
"this task is taking me WAY too long, and your expectations of my work were minimal" *shugs* ........other people saw it, it was'nt private.
...................there was fire in her eyes.
she knows she did this.
my parents, and BF are tripping..
.................they're saying, get a lawyer now this is harrassment
this morning... ....I said....mary, can I talk to you a second?
she said yes.
I said....do you know why I am still here? ....why I have'nt just left?
......because you are teaching me how to not run from a problem
or give up on a friend.....
..............as long as no MAJOR assalts I can't get over come to pass.
I think I can work thru this darkness, that's how I will show you my inner light.
......I told you...the drug world is where I am not unsure of myself.
the real world is all new to me...
....so, instead of getting high...here I am with you.
learning how to perservere, as the "weird one" .....trying to be just suzie...
......and not be punished for it.
Last night i was reading our old emails...
....and we used to be friends....and I was learning how to "count" and be useful in what ways i can be.
.....and i dunno what happened.
she said....we're still friends....I said I KNOW, I realize thru whatever you are sending out to me.....I have to learn problem solving skills... ....up to now..."go away" was my main route to a solution.
I SO glad you know we are still friends... .....even if you kick my ass to the curb, as long as I know you know, you got to meet a unique, and truely, kind , crazy, insecure....custom deluxe rareity. ....I'm good with that.
the one thing in my life I'm proud of is...hurting people is not what gets me off. ...I won't spend time TRYING to hurt you, or belittle you.
she said.. ...watch what you say on break, it all came back to me.
I said...
..........oh, so you were told I was Butt hurt, heart broken, that you treat me like i've ever intentionally tried to make people lives harder...or shame you in any way
....and I felt confused, and outcased....and a little stunned you don't see how cool I am...
even tho....I have told you whatever information you needed, flat out.. ...I never talk about you in adjectives, or attack your character..
I just keep trying my best, and sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I don't ......but, I'm honest, and completely informative on any compromising, or uncomfortable truth, I think you need to know, to better serve us both.
.......and I stay working..I don't sleep in the bathroom, or walk around doing nothing....
....but, when I told you I went to the dr and my back was sore..
you looked at me like I was gonna use the truth, of where you failed me...
......for some cash....you knew i could, if i was an opportunist.
but that's one of the really cool things about me.
.....the friendship and the lessons we teach each other are the pay off.
and the problems we over come, are our bond.
...........i won't step on you, to get a handful of dead presidents...
and I will accept your character flaws..as well as your character.
.....I know what's under the surface, is trying as hard a me to make it thru this life.
she apologized.
she told me, to come to work happy, because she would be glad to see me ....and she appreciated me teaching her, she did'nt loose the race... she stopped for a refreshment.
