In way of a preface... I was screwing this girl this year starting on February 7th, about a month or so later it turned into a relationship, which I ended on November 2nd. Her ex-boyfriend had had a drug problem, and despite her best efforts, he relapsed in January and wound up in rehab. He had been gone for barely a month when we started sleeping together, so asshole maneuver number one on Seskel's part - check. After a few weeks they actually broke up and our relationship began in earnest. Four months into the affair, she moved in with her father in Cliffside Park, NJ, right across the river from NYC. She had lived with her boyfriend and could no longer afford the rent on her own. Those four months alone had rendered her broke. So throughout the summer and fall, our relationship consisted of her visits here, to New Brunswick, via her automobile, and my visits there via public transportation.
It was during the summer that we had our little problem, namely my impregnating her. We had problems with condom breakage throughout our relationship. Anyway, as you can probably infer from the facts that the relationship is now over and I am not a douchebag, we took measures to conclude the pregnancy. It was a bit of an ordeal, but certainly less so for me; all it constituted for me was sitting in waiting rooms several times and once shelling out a few hundred dollars.
What surprises me is how easy it all was. I don't mean how easy it is to obtain an abortion, I mean how little compunction I had about going through with it. I didn't hesitate, I didn't regret it for a moment, I didn't shed a tear that I can recall, though I consider myself a contemplative person. If I went back in time to when we discovered she was pregnant, I'd do the same thing again. I'm coming to believe I have little to no heart.
Nonsense m'boy. You had no emotional attachment to a minor growth on her uterine wall that you helped create. It might have grown into a human, just as a polyp there might have grown into a mass of cancer cells.
If you live life on the "Might" principle you're only assured of an early stress-related death.
I can understand why it was easy for you to go through with it. And I can understand if it were harder on her emotionally. It's something that's inside of her and her emotional attachment is not just mental, but there is a physical note to it as well. I'm sorry your relationship ended because of that. But if that's all it took to end it, it was going to fail anyways.
It didn't end because of that, the end was unrelated. I broke up with her because she loved me and I didn't love her and the emotional discrepancy would have made things awkward if I let it go on much longer.
