Space's Official interview (By FoRgOtT3N And Suze)
*To be further edited soon*
1:General info about you! Male or female? Male
How old? 21
Whats your name? Jeff (I'm just starting to get okay with giving out basic info about me again.. heh)
WHat part of the world do you live? CA In the city of Santa Cruz!
Where do you work? Umm, well.. In theory I have a job as an asst plumber... which basically involves me digging alot and crawling under houses.
In practice my work hasn't had work for me in months.. though it's just as well because I'm doing community service. Yah know, giving back to society some of what I took or something like that? So in reality I spend my days doing things like picking up trash in the park, or yesterday, taking out a huge grove of briars and poison oak in the rain!
2 Do you like your job?What as a child and throughout life were jobs that you wanted but for one reason or another never accomplished?
Umm, I kinda like the plumbers asst thing.. I've found I like working outdoors. I always sorta assumed I'd work in an office.. since my mom and dad are both computer engineers.. but no.
Umm, I think I was a kinda fucked up kid.. so Im not going to go into some of the things I wanted to do when I grew up. Lets just say I accomplished alot of my 'dreams' during my active addiction and am now working very hard at extricating myself from all that.
3:Any siblings?Have children yourslef?Tell us about the fam.....
I have a brother who's three years younger than me. He's in NC this winder building a house in the mountains with my uncle and my cousin.
My mom an dad divorced when I was six dad has remarried twice so far, my latest step mom he married a few months ago is from China. Shes cool.. though really we dont talk much since her English is a lil shakey.
My mom took awhile and some bad choices to choose a new husband. He's a hippy.. like her. I don't really have alot of interaction with him.
Dad is a PHD in computer engineering, mom has a MS in the same thing... but they were both the first person in their respective families to ever goto college.. so they were like.. raised in the country.. specifically in the south. So yeah.. all my relatives live in North Carolina South Carolina and Tennessee. Can you say rednecks?
Oh, and I have an Ex-step-sister. My dads second marriage lasted awhile.. and so I consider my sister from then still my sister. Shes 2 months older than me.
4 Do you prefer It raining and cold,Or sunny and warm outside?
I dunno. I used to like gray and rain.. cause after all you can always put on more cloths to stay warm.. but when it's hot out you can only take off so much before it becomes indecent exposure.. and even then it's uncomfortable in the sun at times. Oh.. and I sunburn like you'd think I was a vampire.
And I'm natuarally warm blooded..
5:WOuld you say you have an optimistic look on life or A darker approach to things?
Umm, that depends on different things. It can come and go day to day. My therapist says Im one of the most cynical people he's ever met.. does that count?
I was depressed bad for awhile after I got clean (off meth)..
Before I used? I was pretty dark and depressed in alot of ways. I have a hard time really remembering my emotional state at the time. When I think about big events that might give me some idea how I felt? I was first arrested for cracking a safe when I was 16. I can't imagine that being a sign I was well adjusted. I dunno though.. I though life was alright.
6:As admitted by yourself,Your a recovering meth addict....How did you get hooked?What made you finally say "enough is enough" and What advice can you give others to stop them from using meth?
Umm. Meth is something that getting hooked on.. is just the next step to trying it. I started using Coke first.. cause it was fun.. and I wanted to know why everyone talked about 'hard' drugs.. and I had never experienced addiction.. so I couldnt imagine it happening to me.
Thats the trick of addiction though. It never makes you not able to stop using. You can quit any time you want. The thing is it makes you not want to quit. It trains the very basic parts of your brain to seek out the drug and want it above all else including familly, and in many peoples cases their jobs, homes etc. Why? Because it makes you chemically happier than those things and then later because you arnt able to experience happiness without it.
What made me say enough is enough? Heh, thats a hard question with a long complexe answer. Here's the cliffs notes:
I got arrested for the third time (since becoming an adult.. I was arrested when I was 16 remember) and they were charging me with way too many felonies. A very close friend of mine was already in prison.. my best friend in the world moved back to town and told me to get my shit togather.. and I had to randomly test for probation. Between those things I decided I had a legal problem if not a drug problem.. So I got clean for probation. At some point I realized that sobriety was the only thing that made sense for me.. and it was something I wanted for the first time in a long time.
It's hard to say I reached a bottom.. cause I spent a couple years there as a homeless drug dealer/ manufacterer. I mean, I always had houses to live in.. cause I had dope and money.. but I didnt have a place that was *mine* Instead Id say my friend showed me the light *cheesy at that sounds* and pulled me back into a world I had forgotton.
What.. advice.. would I give. Okay, I'm sure all my speil on addiction and so forth is getting old. I'll make a seperate post for something like that for people who are interested. You have to understand.. I've read alot and written alot on the topic. I could go on for days.
7:What kind of music do you like?Give us an example of maybe 4 or 5 favorites.... Christ, I listen to such random shyte. My tastes change alot.. but here are a few that have stuck around.
Orgy.
Woodie (this is rap..which I normally dont listen to)
I like some of Evanescence's stuff.. though it all starts to sound the same if you dont listen to other stuff too.
Rammstien, No doubt (not their newest stuff..) Metalica, OOOO Flogging Molly! That shit rocks.. I first started listening to 'em cause I thought their name was funny as all hell. I kept listening because angry drunk Irish people kick ass.
8:IF there was one thing (appearance wise) about yourself you could change,What would it be?
Umm. Forgotten. I told you before. I'm dead sexy.
I really wouldnt change anything unless I could make myself have like.. cat eyes or something cool like that. But I imagine that could get old. I think I'm happy the way I am.
9:Whats your biggest mistake that you personally feel you've ever made?Tell us some stupid situations you've gotten yourself into!
This is such a hard question for me. I'd be interested to know what my life would be like if I had never got into drugs. At the same time though I feel like I went looking for something.. and if I hadnt gone through it when I did I would have later.
#1)Never accept large amounts of crystal meth from mexican cartel folks on credit.
#2)Being a criminal may seem 'cool' or whatever... but the reality is pretty damn dark.
#3)Never trust the fuckers who say they're your friends (this really only applies when you're involved with a bunch of theiving criminals..)
#4)Oh, and kids. Don't do drugs.
I did all those things and regret them. Except I dunno about the last one. This is why:
My addiction made me really appreciate life in a lot of ways... before I was kinda a fuckup. I graduated highschool a couple years eary... traveled.. drank too much.. went to community college some and ended up dropping most of my classes... Got arrested for breaking into a place with ski masks and taking thousands of dollars out of a safe that wasnt mine. I had a job.. but I was working in food services... I had thousands of dollars in the bank.. but no idea what to do with it.
Now I really have goals and at least know what I don't want for my life. Though those thousands of dollars would sure help now that I know what to do with em Wink
10:Heres some randoms,Pick either one of the other:
Red or blue? Hah! red.
Flowers or candy? Flowers.. I think.. I dont much like candy...
Porsche or Lexus? Porsche.. I think. I've never driven either one...
Yacht or Mansion? Yacht.. I think. lol
Brand new laptop or brand new Desktop? desktop!
6 or 33? Neither really but 6 is awright with me.
Jack johnson or System of a down? Okay, I at least know who system of a down is and like what I've heard..
Mario or luigi? Mario..
Zelda or Final fantasy? FF
Warm or cold? Cold!
Space.....We Fully appreciate your time and effort contributing to this forum!Were glad to have you
1. if you were having a movie about your life made who would play you? See, this one's hard cause I dont really watch TV.. or movies.. and even when I do I don't know the actors names.. 'cept the really famous ones. I think I'd wanna play myself.. Or I dunno, maybe Matt Damon
2. what would be the title track? Ahhh, I'm so bad with music questions..I could assign songs for periods of my life I think. Like when I was using I would have "A day in the life" by Woodie I think, or at least produced by the guy, if you're curious I can send it to yah..
I really dont know how I would charachterize the rest of my life.. maybe because I don't feel like I've really done anything with it.
3. when you dream you are falling, do you ever hit the ground? Umm.. Yes, but I never get hurt.. For some reason in most of my falling dreams Im on the top of a super tall pole and it's falling. dunno why.
OOooOOOoo, I just remembered. Last night I had a sorta falling dream.. I ended up breaking my legs though I think.. on a beach. It was weird.
4. if you could have any cartoon or movie hero's super powers ...what would it be? I used to think about this alot more.. now though super powers seem more boring. Like cheating or somthing. I think I'd just wanna be really smart.. like stephen hawkin status.. I mean, he seems happy enough.. and he's all fucked up. Just imagine being not a cripple and having his smarts. Yeah.. lame. I know, but hey, its my answer.
Luv yah too Suze!
Oh, and I just wanted to say.. I PMed my answers back to forgotten... so hopefully he'll post them before long..
I'm can't belive you are 21! ....that was shocking! .........you are wise beyond your years my friend. of corse us crazed addicts did'nt sleep for five years, so you are really 25 in conscience awake time!
very honest and intresting space..
I love you...
I know it's harder to be you than me, ....if I cooked I'd be dead from it. .......... you have so much dedication to your own soul to be able to refrain with such conviction. (no pun intended)
I want obie wan kenobe's "push" for a super power.
