.....it's like dying of cancer and dying of aides. all addictions are horrible to observe on a loved one..
Both will KILL the hell outta you. .....but the treatments and issues are different.
you don't treat an aides patient with kemo. ......we don't get methadone. (adderrall IN our case)
but it's that persons TEMPTATION. .....like booze and lotto....pfffft.
my boss trusts me with it. ....I could care less if i have a lotto ticket, I gotta keep up with.. ...and there's nothing in the bottom of a beer I'm missing.
HOWEVER
...I connected finnally with alcohaulics on st patricks day. st patricks day ...don't mean SHEEE IT to me. ......but recovering booze drinkers, would come in and get coffee.... ...I saw my own face.
I hugged 2 of em, because they could'nt have green beer and put a lampshade on their head. ....I knew what they were right away.
we all look like we have a metal collar with a ball and chain...because they will become a werewolf with out it
it would be neat to be around recovering addicts who don't look that way. ..........but it's my experiance, it might get less heavy but it's always there.
and it goes for anyone, who quit anything they ruined, by doing the same thing everyday.
be it booze, ciggerretttes, herion, speed, lotto players.
LOL! ...lotto players are SO addicted here.
if the lotto machine breaks.. ...when I tell em, in a matter of 6 seconds.. I can see...
anger, barganing, denial, acceptence and depression wash over them
,...if they get stuck in denial.
they question me like it's not really broken, I just don't wanna give them the ticket... .....or raise their voice, and say .............................WHEN IS IT GONNNA WORK?! LIKE i KNOW.
but me and the flipped out lotto peeps know the whole time that the other knows, the addiction is affecting his behaivor
intresting.
another weird thing.. ..I connected with a WWII vet big time. the closest VA is daytona...so he looked like the only "cat" on the planet...like I feel w/o others like me here.
I told him...
I'm a recovering addict.
...but, You and I have something in common...
(he's like 80 years old.)
....we've seen things we can't describe.... .and its eating us up.. ...........because we need to look into a pair of "knowing" eyes sometimes.
