NZ man sentenced after claiming to have been raped by a wombat March 27, 2008 - 3:51PM
A New Zealand man who claimed to have been left speaking Australian after being raped by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours' community work for his trouble.
Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message, "I've been raped by a wombat".
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night.
When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.
On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.
He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.
"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out," Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.
"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all," Cradock then told the operator.
Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock's life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a problem that day.
Judge Richard Russell said he was not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police.
In sentencing, he warned Cradock not to do it again.
I think that "shit beer" is a bit harsh for it. It's far from a favourite of mine, but it's still far more drinkable than Budweiser or Coors, etc.
Apparently the Fosters that is sold to foreigners is a lot more drinkable than the Fosters brewed and sold here. Mostly because its brewed under licence in whatever country you buy it in. I think the reason it isnt widely consumed in Oz is because of the "camp" image it has, think 70's sportsmen with horseshoe moustaches, brown polyester, disco, that sort of thing.
That said, I still wont drink it. It's dogpiss whichever way you slice it. And I dont drink Victoria Bitter either. Melbourne Bitter is drinkable, but it isnt great.
I forgot to add, wombats are in plague proportion in that part of New Zealand, so I'm surprised that rapings are not more often reported. Shit, it happens all the time here in Australia.
Joined: Wed Feb 28 2007, 12:14am
Location: Under Your Mom's Meat Flaps!
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Dude, going back, this dude just got arrested here for fucking PICNIC TABLES!
Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table
Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.
Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.
Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.
"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.
Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.
